Monday, September 23, 2013

11 Months...

Eleven months... The year is closing in, and you used this month to herald its bitter-sweet truth: You left to Heaven, but from there you shine on us and advocate for us and never leave us alone. Even from Heaven you keep on bringing gifts into our lives. We notice everything, little diva, and through our outings it is always a fact that a butterfly always crosses our path and lingers around us... then vanishes as another one comes to call her into another journey... We always think of you and Tabs. It always makes our day whenever we feel you really there, we know... This month you have outdone yourself. You helped us keep hope and you helped open doors...

We are no longer homeless. This past weekend we finally moved out from the homeless sheler into a duplex home where our family will be able to start a new life. Through the help of special people we were able to get some furniture (big thanks to the Mustard Seed). All has been very fast... But we did not fail to notice details that let us know that you are here with us, and this is a gift you gave us... As we found a toy chest for Kali, and dragged it with us, we noticed it had a small booklet inside. As we carried it with us Daddy took it out... The Tiny Seed. That was your favorite story from the videos... You loved The Tiny Seed because it made you think of your classes and of Mr. Farina. You loved how the Tiny Seed found its place and bloomed. We thought it a big coincidence... But then yesterday Daddy was cleaning out our bedroom's furniture and in the headrest drawers he found some items in between the drawers... A two small kids books: Hope for the Flowers, and Hey Bug! Poems about Little Things. We know how much you loved bugs, caterpillars, flowers... The whole thing was very special to you... you were like a little druid when it came to nature. Then Daddy also found another little thing: A beautiful rosary that was in a tiny envelope... Butterflies, seeds, bugs, and a rosary... You are obviously having fun, being happy and letting us know!

Thank you Deedee for trying your best to give us some kind of peace of mind... Thank you for embracing our broken hearts and filling them with your never-ending love. We are truly blessed, always thank to you... You made us see what matters in life... And you pushed us into a world that is unique... filled with feeling, emotion, vibrant colors and true love. It has been eleven months since the last time I lost myself into your eyes, since the last time you moved your little fingers in my hands... It all has been a blink. I still feel you warmth, and hear your breathing...

The question will always remain... Why did you decide to leave us? Almost eleven months have passed, very fast... very intense months of dramatic changes... yet the singularity of loosing you is the only thing that brings us neverending despair. We know it is selfish of us to want you so... Forgive us for that... But how could us not want you around when you were the flower that brought beauty and serenity and purpose and will into our lives. With you it was not enough to dream about things... we had to make it so. Such a lovely little tyrant whom we loved to wow away making each day special and worth living. The first three years of constant struggle it was our duty to make each day an amazing adventure so you would want more... The last two years of your life were a constant ode to discovery, growth, a constant search for more knowledge, making you free of the constraints that your body and society imposed by default... We enjoyed the best years of our family with you. We were whole and happy with you. You made us proud with everything you did, everything you showed the world, everything you made possible. You showed us how to live a miracle and how to make dreams happen. We miss your smizing eyes so much! Your little sound of glee and approval... We miss everything physical... But we know you walk with us... There are no doubts. And in another blink we will be together again, all of us. Our life on Earth is such a little time... Keep flying around us, keep sending us messages... keep sharing your warmth. We need you, little diva...

Loving you, remembering you, honoring you, and thanking you forever...

Mommy & Daddy