Sunday, May 26, 2013

Seven Months

Dear Deedee:

I hope that you have been enjoying your permanent vacation from Earth. I think of you, flying around enjoying the sights, enjoying the wind and the beauty in which now you walk... being able to speak as loud as you want, being able to run and jump and seat and stand and play... I think of you smiling at all times, rolling your eyes when you find something absurd, your eyes trembling a little when you find something amusing... I think of you enjoying every flower, every sunrise, every sunset, every raindrop, every trait of nature... I think of you convincing other angel kids that the Wonderpets are the most awesome thing, that your secret identity was being Pocahontas and that you know every Zdisney and VeggieTale song by heart. You keep trying to convince the “Boss” that you know just how to make communication with humans more effective, just by networking and getting on Facebook, Skyping a bit and keeping blogs. And you are certain that you had the best idea for an animated cartoon, and you still think you can inspire something on someone so it gets done...I think of your sassyness and cleverness, and I know that everyone in Heaven must be having a ball whenever you are around them, sprinkling glitter on everything “just because” you are convinced glitter make everything prettier...

I know that your journey really began when you had to leave us. This was the warmup to the greatest adventure you would have... and I know you were so ready for it! With all you did here on Earth in what seemed 5 short human years you warmed up to all the core ideas that would shape your destiny. It is true. It all has just begun. You are not just watching from afar, you are scheming higher things of higher purpose... with touches of glitter of course. Your will will inspire many deeds, and will open many doors so it all gets done. You are making God proud, and you make us proud. I know you are a busy bee, and in your infinite timeline for being you will make many miracles happen... just as you did before, but at a higher scale. I hope you will let us know when you decide to lift the curtain so we can also enjoy your works of art... I trust your inspiration will give us direction and purpose. I believe in you, my angel and my personal rainbow... my bringer of joy and possibilities... You showed us nothing is impossible, and nothing is far fetched.

Knowing all this comes easy to our minds... and it is the big patch that covers the deep hole in our hearts... My angel, we are happy that you are happy and doing so many things... but being without you has been a constant nightmare. We love you so much, and we miss you so much... You departed to go to the greatest college of them all... and left an empty nest in which nothing can ever take your place... The halls within our hearts display all pictures of you. We take comfort in all that was done, in all you achieved, in all we achieved together... but that comfort is fleeting when the realization of your warmth being absent hits us at night... when there are no breathing sounds from you to cradle me to sleep... when there is no single gesture in the dark that tells me your yes or your no. We don't want to drag you down, we want you to be happy and go on... It is just... hard... Very hard... And we hope that now and then you can actually allow us to know you are here with us... We know you are, but feeling your presence is so important to us... It is all that is left until we all meet again for once and for all.

Bring on your inspiration, love. Help me make all promises come true... Help me do that big project that you know was all because of you... Help us to keep on being strong, keep on being your little sister's guardian angel... keep on being our light in the dark...

We love you. We miss you. We believe in all you are and all you do.

Beyond the end of time.