Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are...

It was during the beggining of this year, the Year of Changes, that the mage and the witch came to realize that something wicked was coming their way... Their wedding was setup for the witch's birthdate, but a series of fortunate events made us change the date so everything else would fall in place smoothly. After all, they had wanted to marry on Christmas but the priest said it was too early...

Even if that was the case they had completed all marriage requirements because that is just what we wanted to do... The whole world seem to be against them, as there would be a constant no for our wanting to marry... Until the little mage manifested itself within them... It was then, by mid January, that the date was set to February, with the priest's blessing. After all, he had seen their genuine efforts to get together within the eyes of humans and God. So... he welcomed the news with glee, and advised prudence from their part so people would get the point that they were getting married because they had already planned to marry, not because of the smallest gift that would change their lives forever.

And so, the wedding took place. The day before the wedding the witch was told by the doctor that she needed to be hospitalized... But she refused, and so he sighted and let it go because of the situation. The witch had too much stress on herself, because of her illness, and because of the wedding itself and the stupidity from people about it...

I wish some details have been different, but all in all, at least one thing shines through: It was a ceremony filled with truth, caring and genuine love. At the altar, everything else vanished, it was just the mage, and the priest, and the witch... And it all meant something deep. We certainly felt God's smile upon us.

The honeymoon was a bit of certain and uncertain... fun and annoying. I knew the whole place by heart, the best and worst rides, and so I guided the mage so he would enjoy everything as it was his first visit to the realms of The Mouse! Of course I wanted to tag along in all the rides, but actually feeling so tired and drained just because of so much walking restrained my intent... Rollercoasters are off-limits to women who are pregnant, so... I went on to get the thrills the non-thrillride way. I scheduled every show so we would see them, as I missed seeing them two years ago (I was on a thrill ride frenzy back then, oh yes, I love adrenaline!). I allowed for the mage to go into the you-cannot-miss-that-ride speeches... he went to get them, but felt really bad he could not share the experience with me. Nevermind that... there is always next time... And anyway, the best thing we did was visiting Sea World, and enjoying La Nouba. Those two really were a delight.

During the honeymoon I tried to eat right, but somehow something always happenned that I had to eat just what was offered which was not always the best... So upon returning the doctor was quite mad at us. I got the point that he thought we were being careless out of whim, and so I created a table and added a notebook to my purse where I would write down everything I ate, day by day, and if something out of the ordinary happenned. For 4 weeks I had to visit the doctor every Friday, and finally he was content with the outcome. He allowed for 4 weeks to pass, and so yesterday I met the appointment. I took the lab tests, all were ok and within normal ranges. The sugar a bit high, but in control still. He seemed pleased to know about the nutricionist being happy. So, got an appointment for May 2nd.

The hardest part of it all is having to take the insulin injections twice a day. I am also expected to take blood tests before and after meals, which adds up to 6 times per day at least... and test strips are really expensive. I hate needles by now, really hate them. I've had constant nausea and vomiting each morning from the middle of the honeymoon to now... seems it will go on... I feel tired all the time, mornings are hellish, and anything makes me drained. I'm also getting allergies as a magnet... I wish I could just stay at home and forget about work and every other obligation... So hard when duty calls all the time... and there seems to be no me-time at all... Suck it up, deal with it... But this last week it really has been the pits because of all the stress and frustration I feel. Because of work, because the mage cannot be there as he would like to because of his work and his duties, because of my feeling crappy in body and soul, because of my constant dissapointment about studies and work advancement and my true vocation as a painting artist... And to top it all, the stress of my illness and knowing all the uncertain things that may happen and may affect me and the unborn child.

This Saturday will be the 20th week. Based on everything the doc told me yesterday things are running normally and smoothly... which makes me breathe a bit easier... It all really worried me. I have Betsy in my heart, and I know I cannot let work get to me, or something like what happenned to her may come true... (she died after preclamsia, high blood pressure and asthma complications... Her baby came through, though). So... Eating as right as I can, trying my best to keep up with the insulin and the blood tests, trying not to force myself even if I think I can do some things (which I know I shouldn't do although I try)... Been reading a lot about diabetes and pregnancy... Extreme control is needed. I don't know if I have it in me to achieve that... At least I have been reassured that this doc will do his best to make me keep the control, even if I don't like the measures... LOL

Went to the WIC and although I didnt qualify at first, I explained the whole situation to the nutritionist and she arranged some changes based on little facts, lowering the mage's income and adding his girl to the family count. At least now I'm certain there will be milk and eggs and cereal at the very least... Money is very, very tight... Diabetes is an expensive illness...

So far, we have no way of knowing what the child will be. After some discussion we agreed on two names:

If it's a girl, Deirdre Valeria.
Deirdre is one of the Mayfair witches in Anne Rice's masterpiece The Witching Hour. It is also the name of one of my favorite NPC characters at AD&D gaming, a warmage anti-paladin priestess of Kali (Blaze darkstream's evil daughter).
Valeria is Conan's wife, who at Conan The Barbarian died in battle becoming a valkyrie.

If it's a boy, Vincent Sebastian.
Vincent is the gentle, thoughtful, kind, protective, and very deadly feral beast at the old TV series of Beauty and the Beast. I have always been in love with this character... He stands right at captain herlock's side.
Sebastian has two sources... First, the happy-no-nonsense lobster from Little Mermaid, my favorite Disney movie. Second, Sebastian Bach, one of my favorite classic composers.

Most people have told me it will be a boy, and we often refer to it at Vincent... but who knows... Deirdre is a stealthy witch after all... LOL

Zordak is really happy about it all. I am still internalizing it, as I never expected to become pregnant... I had always believed I could not have children, especially after my being for so long with Tril and then with Groundel... And nothing ever happened... I had scheduled my life so I would adopt two to three children upon reaching 40, after having completed my doctor's degree, moved to the States, and travel a bit... So at first, the news were filled with mixed emotions. Plans changed dramatically just because of a positive test... New priorities... and new dangers for my self. But one thing remains certain: Of all the people I know, no one could have been the best choice as a father for my child. It became him, because he is the one. He has no evil in him, he is compassionate, gentle, caring and kind. He is giving and unselfish. He views life as a whole beautiful page that must be savored. He transmits love in everything he does. He still has innocence in his ways. And all that is a rare find these days...

I know that this child was born of true love, from two souls that reached for each other believing forever was meant to be their destiny. Nothing can be as beautiful and meaningful as this. And that is why I was granted the deepest wish of a child of my own. A gift in disguise, that was wicked in its timing but true in its intent as it was the ultimate signal that, yes, the mage was the one for me, for real, forever... my reward after so much pain and suffering.

And so we have all been assured that love is the way... Xena knew it all! LOL


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