Portrait of a Diva

Portrait of a Diva

Oil Pastels, 11x14

March 22, 2013

Artist: Vivian Rivera

In loving memory of my oldest daughter, Deirdre Valeria.

5 Months

It's been five months... Five months... 

Through the silent middle of the night a distant sound echoes in the wind... Just one sound, just one beautiful sound that said so many things at once. Whenever I heard it I knew, yes you were awake. And I would go stay with you through the night until the sun heralded the day. Whenever I heard it I knew that yes you agreed and all was fine.

But now only treacherous memory remains of such echo... and instead of bringing a comforting thought, it just brings the embrace of loss... coldness... ghostly shadow that only floats around me reaching out yet bringing no solace, no consolation... Gentle tricks brings bliss as the dagger goes deeper within. There is no stopping the bleeding that pours through the heart that daily kisses the thought of you. There is no stopping the numbness that wind tries to take away as it playfully caresses my cheeks... There are no words that can stop the tears that my soul keeps shedding each dusk and each dawn... as there is no light and no shadow in which your lovely sound... oh simple sound... echoes... to bring me home.

Saying I miss you falls short of all I feel constantly, at all times, in all ways... Saying I wish you were here with me falls short of what my heart feels such mercy would make it whole. Saying I'll see you again can only comfort what reason and logic must hold.

A world in black and white... A world with dreams reaped from breath... A world that may be just enough and just fair... but never perfect as perfect you made it... Yet I do hold one last dream, that just the right dusk I shall open my eyes and hold you again in my arms. Never to let go.

Never to let go...A gift from the Shadow. And so I'll keep my search for Eldorado.It's just around the river bend...

I love you, my sweet diva.

Deedee's Star

Deedee became our star almost 5 months ago, shining bright and guiding our path... But on Thursday night she somehow handed to us the star that she would have gotten at Give Kids The World if she had made her Make a Wish trip last December.

We are deeply touched that Deedee was granted a star, in memory of all she was... and because she would have been there anyway if things have been different. We are proud that her name is now among so many kids that have come to GKTW for their ultimate wish... She is already a star, but having a tangible symbol of what she is now will allow many to remember everything... and to keep fighting. This star is an idea of her, of her dreams, of everything she stood for.

 

Deedee, you will always be the flame that burn inside our hearts fueling inspiration and will. We love you deeper and more strongly each day, and we know that we will all be together one day... one beautiful day. Many hugs, baby girl.