The Gift

MONDAY 24th CHRISTMAS EVE
The first visit went fast, as we were focusing on trying to set up music for baby without any luck. So I told the Mage to simply go where I had seen one in special and get it… We will handle the new broken one later… We placed Vangies Xmas bib on baby’s bed, covering a Santa head that kinda unnerved us… and floated away to get the CD player. I feared that people and their last shopping sprees would keep us from being on time for the afternoon visit, but it seems electronics by now are very focused on MP3 players and the like, leaving old CD players in Forgotten Realms… to our delight. We were in the store for only 5 minutes, including paying time. We headed back to the hospital, and FINALLY the music played. It was an instant “tame beast”. Baby fall asleep, soundly.

As we arrived for the third visit, we had a big laugh. Someone had put a big, scary, carrot-nosed Snowman flanking baby’s sight, and she had her eyes wide open staring at it. She was scared, I know, but she would not cry… no, no, no… She just kept her big eyes fixed on the Snowman’s nose. The doctor had placed the plush there, and even uttered that Deedee was following it with her eyes. Well, of course… Wouldn’t you? :P

There was also flower bag at the baby’s feet. Someone had passed by and left a present for baby and us. Sylvia, from work, left a plush doll for baby and some chocolates for the Mage and me… with a lovely note. It was a very touching detail. I could have never imagined someone who is not a close friend taking the time in such a marked day to make one feel special, and give such support. Very kind. She lifted our spirits.

We arrived to Misa de Gallo in Fatima at10:30pm. My sister was there with her immediate clan, and so the whole ceremony passed away swiftly and bitter-sweet. At the end Baby Jesus is presented and everyone goes to see him, mimicking the shepherds… The priest mentioned to us not to worry, for we would have our baby in our arms soon. May it be so…

When we finally arrived at home, I was checking Sylvia’s card to place it in the Xmas tree, and as I took the doll out I realized it had a message in its chest, “God bless Baby”. The Mage had not noticed, neither did I, if not I would have left the doll near the baby’s bed. So we decided that we would take the doll to baby on our next visit… It is the only present she would see outside from home (we are keeping everything else under the tree, until she returns home to unwrap them all).

TUESDAY 25th CHRISTMAS DAY
We arrived on time during the morning, waited a bit while they handled baby and then went in to greet baby on Xmas. Baby was awake but looked a bit pale. They had taken the first of the chest tubes out, the one that was on the left side, seems that they did so in the night before… No wonder the surgeon had been there at night… Yes, my observation powers are in low right now. Lack of sleep does that… They announced that perhaps on Thursday they would take the other tubes out, depending on baby’s reaction. We were happy about the news, played a bit with the doll that Sylvia had brought baby, then hanged it on the bed’s headrest just at Vangies “Baby’s 1st Xmas” bib.

The afternoon visit had no events, we were auntie sleepy after eating at Auntie’s place… At the last visit, there was a fuchsia and yellow bathing puppet hyppo at the baby’s side. The nurse told us someone had passed by, and I managed to guess who. So I added on the details of that someone called Xiomara who goes to the hospital with her daughter every year in Xmas day to give gifts to the children who are in there. I remember Xiomara had told me so early in June. I never could have imagined that on Xmas my baby daughter would get a gift from her... The world is so small, and events connect us all… So baby got another gift while in the hospital, from another stranger who happened to care. Baby looked happy and content. And she fall asleep in time for us to leave…

WEDNESDAY 26th
During the first visit Deedee looked a bit out, which concerned me… But we were told that the second tube had been successfully removed. X-rays showed everything being stable… As our voices increased, baby opened her eyes, suddenly becoming more than aware of everything… Just listening to us makes her gather the required energy to demand attention. So we complied with glee. She slept during the second visit, being quite awake and feisty on the third. We performed our mandatory Sound of Music show, entertaining or diva as she demanded, and she reciprocated with an incredible one-of-a-kind smile… Yup, she smiled. Her first smile since this whole ordeal began… She managed to grant us four smiles in one afternoon, and one in the night. We were breathless, speechless… God has been listening to us… And it showed.

THURSDAY 27th
As we arrived early in the morning, baby was sleeping. The bright burgundy and yellow hippo somehow was perched at Deedee’s left side, as if it were guarding her sleep… jut like the Snowman two days ago… Deedee was not too happy about it, her face was a bit red and it was evident she had been crying but she dozed off. Geez, who wouldn’t be scared? It almost looks like Barney!

The nurse told us they had taken off the last of the three tubes that drained liquid from her lungs. She also told us that it would be better to bring long-sleeved clothing for baby’s next days at the hospital. It was then that I noticed Deedee was dressed in pink. As the Mage lifted the covers, we laughed as we saw that they had put the pink fuzzy bunny shoes on Deedee’s feet. Deedee opened her eyes as she felt the cold draft, immediately complaining about it. We changed the music from instrumental to the kids songs, and before we knew it she settled down falling asleep again.

We went home, looked for clothing for Deedee (and oddly enough, for her Godfather too) and came back in time for the second visit. She was restless, and her crying was not quieted by songs or the hippo. It was then that a clown entered the intensive care room. At first I was thinking “Oh, great!” as the clown went straight for Deedee. The Mage even murmured the same to me, but I smiled. Deedee looked at the clown as if asking “What are you gonna do to me now?”. The clown took a blue balloon and turned it into a blue poodle… which Deedee wouldn’t stop staring at. So we started playing with the poodle, making it dance and fly around the bed. Each time it “vanished” Deedee would cry, so we played her favorite songs and made a puppet show with the blue poodle and the rejected hippo until she fall asleep just in time for the visit hour to be over... She must have a timed clock somewhere…

During the night visit, the doctor approached us saying the daily news update. No chest drainage tubes left, she’ll be in observation, they X-rayed her lungs and they appear without liquid and fine, tests seem okay… So they are still giving her oxygen (now by 45%) and will keep lowering both the oxygen and the medicines on the next days until she can manage on her own and out of danger. Two thumbs up for Deedee! As we left, she was still crying, but making sleepy gestures… Each time is more and more difficult to leave. I hate leaving her crying… But I know it is a necessary evil. The price of awareness…

Godfather has been calling religiously. He’s been very worried about Deedee, and quite surprisingly attached to baby. In our last call I mentioned how hard it was leaving baby alone at the ICU, and he replied “At least you see her everyday, I haven’t seen her in 10 days. I miss her so much.” That was touching. As I told the Mage he smiled, he never would have guessed such attachment possible from our resident ogre. It is funny, and touching. It takes those lovely innocent eyes to melt a heart of iron…

Deedee brings so much joy to those who love her! Yes, she makes us happy willing slaves. And that is all that matters. We can’t wait to have her home again. The house is too quiet, too empty, too devoid of life without her. We are incomplete without her. We keep faith, we keep hope… Only time will tell the final will of God. But so far, He granted us a Xmas miracle... a lovely gift... her precious smile.

10-4

Every time I look Into your lovely eyes
I see a love that money Just can't buy

One look from you I drift away
I pray that you Are here to stay

Anything you want
You got it
Anything you need
you got it
Anything at all
you got it
Baby

Every time I hold you I begin to understand
Everything about you Tells me [you're my girl]

So I live my life To be with You
No one can do The things you do

Anything you want
You got it
Anything you need
you got it
Anything at all
you got it
Baby

I'm glad to give My love to you
I know you feel The way I do

Anything you want
You got it
Anything you need
you got it
Anything at all
you got it
Baby

-Bonnie Raitt, You got it

This was the first song I dedicated to Deedee when she was born... I believe it sums up everything... everything...