Holding On

WEDNESDAY:10:00am Neurologist appointment. Or better known as the useless waste of time in which we were told less than we knew and the guy showed no interest whatsoever in the girl, but plenty in a multiple orgasms review in a Cosmopolitan magazine that he actually reached for and started reading in our face. I am outraged. Where is professionalism? Where is caring, compassion, vocation? This guy is in for the money, nothing else. He commented that Deede is a beautiful baby, but it was a pity… What is a pity? And before leaving he stated that this kind of situations makes a woman out of a mother… And just what I am? What did this guy knew about us? Oh, I know… Maybe he thought we were irresponsible younglings that got really unlucky or that we were some college brats… Surprise, surprise… Appearances are VERY deceiving. It is people like HIM that makes one believe that this island has no real doctors interested in the people, but only and just only on the money. The Mage and I went off the place quite upset. But we tried toning ourselves down… Right now we need the creep, until Deedee is out of the hospital and can be taken to a REAL professional.

So, we went to see Deedee. She was wide awake, responsive, lovely as usual… Speaking loudly just with her eyes. We sang some songs to her, and she fell asleep. Everything looked the same as the night before, and there was no doctor around to tell us anything else in deep…

Midday arrived, and we went to have lunch, still heated by the words of the Neurologist. LightShadow was witness to our insanity, and then we went on to visit Deedee again. No doctor at first… The afternoon went really fast as we talked to Deedee and sang more songs. It is funny that she opens her eyes as she feels us near, and then goes to sleep after a while when she’s certain it is us. It occurred to us to get a family picture and we asked for a permit to do so, and so after the visit hour finished we ran through all the hospital to get it. It was funny, in the end it was the doctor who signed… back at intensive care. Nevertheless we had to wait until the next visiting hour, so we decided to go visit auntie and tell her what was going on.

It was a bad hit for her, just when she opened the fence she burst in tears and got very very nervous. We took her inside, explaining that there was hope, that the baby is stable and that she must believe so and pray so that becomes the final reality. After a while she calmed down… That was difficult. She has this thing for Deedee, and also she has this spooky ability of dreaming when things are going to happen… She had been dreaming of Deedee for two days in a row… So I can understand why she got so scared and so worried… We ARE scared and worried... But we cannot let fear conquer us. Fear is the mind-killer. And right now, we need the mind to find ways and solutions.



Back at the hospital, the doctor was in and told us they took an X-ray in the morning and showed Deedee had NO pneumonia, that there was still liquid in her lungs but was handling it, no fever so far. She had a blood transfusion because of all the tests they ran on her, which left her too weak. And they also changed the sedative because the one they were giving her was an hypnotic sedative and it was wearing off too fast (thus, her being awake when she felt us around). GrannieMillie was there, looking spooked as the Mage and I sang along Deedee’s favorites. And as the visit was over, we went home. We were out of service for the rest of the night, the day had been quite draining and stressful… A forecast of what will be for the next few weeks…



Today, we arrived at the given time and found Deedee sleeping soundly. But she looks fine under the circumstances. And the tube on her nose was gone (yay!) The doctor passed by to tell us they had done the routine checkups and kept on with the antibiotics and the lungs drainage and that so far she seems to be responding well. She’s under a pain killer and another sedative to prevent her from suffering. The Mage asked if they could put something in her lips so they are less dried-up, and they gave up some equivalents to Chapstik… Who knew? So, DeeVa got some lipgloss… Although she was sleeping, we sang along two of her favorites. I am convinced she hears them, thus making her reminisce about home.

We went to have lunch, then came back for the afternoon visiting cycle. Deedee was sleeping some, opening her eyes to peak at times. We held her small hands, caressed her head and sang some specially requested songs in Groundel’s name. He is convinced her favorites are the “Veinticinco y el tapón” and “El Barquito”. At a time I had to run outside because I felt like coughing, so when I came back I was asked to wear a mask. I was pissed about that… I put it on but after a small while went out frustrated because I couldn’t breathe well with that. So, I waited for the Mage outside. After he came out we went home and had a lighthearted chat… I should try to sell the house… It is too far, and this is the second scare we get (the first one was my car slipping on the road which made me end on the edge of a hill, two weeks ago).

We went back at night. By then I had a runny nose and feeling completely bad, so I knew I would have to wear the mask if I wanted to be with Deedee… As we got there, a friend from work was waiting in the corridor, to ask about what was going on. It was really nice to see her there. We couldn’t talk beyond the basics, but we got her good wishes loud and clear. So I was not so grumpy when I asked for the mask… GrannyMillie was there with her Bear, and Deeva was crying. The Mage and I tried calming her down caressing her head and singing along, again. She fell asleep, content. The Mage asked for the Chapstik so Deeva’s lips could begin healing faster… And the doctor told us that the new X-Ray looked fine, still no infection or pneumonia and that there was less water in her lungs…

It is evident Deedee is fighting to live. She wants to stay with us… Let’s hope that her will is strong. As we went away, she was sleeping, stable and quiet. Tomorrow is another day… And the more days that pass, the odds are better for our girl. Seeing how she clings to anyone who takes her hands shows her inner strength. She may have fallen but she won’t give up. She knows she is important, she matters, she gives meaning to our lives. She knows there is a warm home that awaits her arrival… Healing is slow, but certain. This, we strongly believe.



By now, The Mage and I have been surprised by so much love and support thrown our way, both by friends and strangers. We thank all of you who in one way or another are sending strength to our little baby, with both prayers, presence, and words. We thought we were alone through this ordeal… But God have sent many angels in our way to let us know that He doesn’t forget His small ones… Everything happens with a purpose.

10-4

PS: They requested blood donations for Deirdre, she's blood type O positive. I cannot donate because I'm diabetic so if anyone else can, you are more than welcomed to do so! The blood donation center is at the building just at Mayaguez Emporium's side (Santander Plaza), in front of Centro Médico (BANCO DE SANGRE 787-834-6099)