Friday, August 23, 2013

10 Months

Just recently our precious angel would have turned 6 years old. I can't stress enough the fact that these days have been hard. Visiting her little star brought on many emotions... It is difficult to stand and give your best shot at life. We do because it is exactly what our diva taught us when she was alive... Of all people she had enough reason to give up, to simply let go, to live in sadness and shrink inside a shell until it all was over... But she didn't. She embraced life with a smile. Her body aches and issues, and respiratory distress, were not enough to tarnish a zest for life that was simply... breathtaking. She inspires us at all times, she walks with us in spirit, and we know she tries her best to show us little nothings that mean a lot just to makes us realize and understand that although it all seemed wrong to our eyes... she is actually happy, she is free to roam eternity, and she is with us no matter what.

It has been this week, at moments of reaching bottom and finding that hope is beyond thin, that for some reason a butterfly will cross our paths... always lingering to catch our attention, then meeting up with another one at a nearby distance. We can't help but feel our Deedee flutters around, and little miss Tabs comes to get her and keep on having fun. Silly butterflies, lifting up our hearts... strengthtening the belief that hope is just around the river bend...

So it has been 10 months since our little warrior became an angel... Chronologically a long time, but in our lives its all been just a blink of an eye. Each time we blink, so many events come to life... never a moment to catch some breath... The perennial realization that there is no lovely greyish eyes following us around the room, no grunt of disapproval at Kali's screams, no requests for Disney movies or Wonderpets... it all keeps on overwhelming us... We can't tell if it is a good thing or not... All we know is that the life of our diva keeps on being wrapped into the intrincate script of our life, and we would not have it any other way. She speaks to us in a different level... She walks with us being our keeper and our shining guiding star.

Always our Sunshine...

6th Birthday at GKTW

We celebrated Deedee's Birthday visiting Give Kids The World to see the star that they placed in their tower's constellation, in her memory... We hope to be able to do this every year.

After moments of drama as we tried to figure out where her star was, a staff helper found her in their records and showed her position through the live cam. Yes, there it is... It reads "DD the Diva 4 Ever."

That star looked so beautiful to us... Bitter-sweet moment. And to see all the new constellations around it is also striking... So many kids in need of a miracle! So many kids swimming on hope.

While we had drama, Kali spent plenty of quality time with the volunteers. They watched her for a bit, coloring and playing with her.She had a blast.

The smile says it all...

The mandatory carrousel stop... Kali loves it. Deedee disliked carrousels, but she loved horses. The diva would just watch Kali having fun and roll her eyes... We imagine she did the same up there in Heaven's balcony.

 Almost a moment of meltdown, but the Mayor Bunny saved the day!

Kali seated to watch the movie that they were playing in the Boutique... It was Deedee's favorite through 2012: Tarzan. Coincidence?

Kali got a tatoo. She selected a butterfly (we have always connected butterflies to Deedee), and the artist made it in purple (Deedee's favorite color). Sweet little coincidences...

We found a Mulan figurine for her Birthday Cake.

 We set it all up at the Ice Cream Parlor, but decided to go outside to lit the candle and sing the song...

Diva approved... We sang to our precious, hoping she would listen from HEaven, and smile upon us.

And as we asked Kali to blow the candle, The candle did so all by itself. No wind, it just blew off... Sweet Deedee sending a kiss through the bittersweetness of it all. 

We shared the cake with kids that were getting ice cream... And suddenly we realized that although we always celebrated on our own we had never been able to have kids at Deedee's birthday... This was the 1st time such a thing happened... And it all was alright.

May many blessings keep happening to you, our dear diva. May many blessings keep on being your gift to us all...

Happy Birthday, Our Beloved Angel Deedee. We will always celebrate you. The flower that blooms in adversity is the most precious... and has the most exquisite perfume. Your fragance is always around us. Love you, baby girl. Miss you...

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Happy 6th Birthday, My Angel Diva!

It is that special time of the year on which special preparations are made, the sweet smell of frosting and ice cream fills the air, a mural and many balloons are placed in the living room, a table is propped with goodies and gifts, and a surprised diva that dresses up in her favorite attire rolls next to the table to mesmerize her eyes into the flickering candles... The preparations always included the endless trying to do video-conference with friends and family, the cellphones lined up for singing the birthday song... Our small family of four together in the living room... Mom, Dad and little Kali fluttering around the Diva with endless attention, endless proud smiles... And the Diva loved it. Her eyes smized as she knew how important she was for us... she knew love in every sense. People from all over the globe would send their love to her... Her godfather and her godmother were always on the lookot to make her feel extra special even through the physical distance that separated us all.

This year our little big girl would have turned 6 years old. This year her birthday celebration would have been all about Mulan. We know that all signals headed that way... Today we face the big emptiness that our physical lives have... We cannot hear her hums, we cannot see her eye-rolls or her excited eyelashes batting constantly... Today I cannot spend a long morning braiding her hair with pink neon hair, doing her nails, dressing her up... Today I cannot bring home a cake made to her taste, I cannot witness her expression of awe as she rolled over the living room and saw the mural that I made specially for her... I cannot take pictures of her in front of a lovely Mulan diorama, and I cannot ask our nurse to take pictures of all of us... for the scrapbook. Today I cannot hold my diva in my arms and kiss her dearly telling her how proud her Mommy is of her, and how close we are to a cure... Today I cannot feed her dreams of running in a field of sunflowers, and of becoming an animation artist...

Deedee was the flame that lighted our path in the middle of the chaos. Fierce, stubborn, courageous... and at the same time so fragile and vulnerable... Her Wonderpets obsession fueled the fact that she understood very well the power of doing the right thing, the power of service, the power of being together to face any challenge. She understood so much more than people grasped... She was a young girl with an old soul, with plenty of foresight that was both a joy and something so scary. She was sensitive to everything, and would accept every happening as a gift. She lived in virtue, showing to all how there is nothing impossible, that there was always a way to succeed, that there is no point on giving up. She looked forward to many projects, and no matter what she would always find a way to sprinkle your life with glitter and sequins and butterflies...

Deedee, may your wings have a special sprinkled glow in your birthday. You are the best thing that ever happen to me. You made my life better in so many levels... You were my greatest teacher, the most important lessons in my life came from you. I hold you always within my heart, and I miss you every second. You inspire me... And you inspire so many! Come shine on us as we remember and celebrate you. 

My lovely Diva. My baby girl. Happy 6th Birthday... Many kisses... All my love.