Steaming Off!

Today was the fourth class of the Birthing Prep 101… An actual nurse was there and gave all main details of what goes on from contractions to delivery. Nothin g new, but a nice recap on everything with many funny moments. The companion must remember some tips to make it through the birthing process in one piece, so I hope the Mage took many mental notes… As usual, comments from my dear peers make me feel I am an alien, but whatever… I rather be a realistic blunt bitch than a pink faerie that has no idea who Tinkerbell REALLY is. Oh, yeah, they showed a movie where a baby was being pushed out and the exclamation from the first row stating “How cute!” deserved an instant WTF. Cute? Well, if you are into larvas… yeah, cute larva. LOL Oh, well…

I’ll never get the cuteness of it all, or the wonder and excitement that these women see in the beautiful journey towards bringing a bundle of joy into the world… Where they think “beautiful wondrous belly” I think “Damn, your weight is killing me”. Where they think “Oh, I’ll bring a new life into the world”, I think “Yes, please, let it come out ASAP! Finally get it over with!”. Where they think “Babies smell so good, babies are so cute” I think “Babies are too much work, loud, noisy, and in the end turn out as ungrateful bitches or bastards that go on with their lives and in the end don’t really remember to honour their parents!” Ugh…

Ok… I’ll try to lighten up… I just hate all this crap that women have in their heads, because they have been designed by culture to simply have the main purpose in life of delivering babies… I cannot romantize the idea of what motherhood is. Facts are facts. It is all a sacrifice that you do and that won’t be fully appreciated in any way. It is all a big responsibility that most forget as soon as they start school, leaving school to play parenthood with kids and young adults… The idea of living forever thanks to the memories and knowledge that you pass on to the newest generation is very valid, the idea of making a difference through the way you raise your offspring or the so called “future of this world” is very valid, the idea of sacrificing everything you are or everything you have for offspring is not. Here the more a mother suffers and ties herself to children the more they are valued… Ah, the ways towards martyrdom… Women forget to live for themselves, their dreams and goals, theirs aspirations… choosing to live through their children what they couldn’t live or refuse to do simply because of fear of going against what has been established.

So it’s been said that NOW I should understand and that NOW I will be able to see the world in a different way… Hmm… That’s the problem with people. Just because they don’t know WHO they really are and what they REALLY want that doesn’t mean that I have been that way all along. I cannot see anything differently because I know who I am, what I am, what I want to do, how is life, what is right and what is true freedom. More than once I have given advise that fall in deaf ears because I didn’t knew better, because I was not a mother. Guess what? I still think the same, and years later I see that after trying things the hard way people in the end have done the logical things I stated at first but they dismissed as useless facts… I may not have been a mother, but I have always had a brain, knowledge and imagination… A deadly combination that more often than not SOLVES PROBLEMS.

My way of seeing/viewing/enjoying the world won’t change because of a child being born. I will just get the chance to put to practice all I know, to help someone develop a sense of self and worth so she can go out into the world ready for many battles. When will people see that pink clothing filled with ruffles and bunnies that she should not mess up doesn’t really help a little girl as much as a nice pair of jeans, a t-shirt and an adult that actually is willing to play with her in the mud? Or play at all… and not video games, but games of imagination, games under the sun or under the stars? The simple things that leads to sanity, stability, happiness and sense of worth… the simple things that our modern society spurns each day… I believe in simple things, for they are the most complicated priceless things. Ancient wisdom that falls in deaf ears most of the time…

Deirdre has been less feisty, seems the pirates calmed he down… LOL Been kicking but not spinning too much. Finally going back to being less stressed… Sides of the tummy still feel sore, damn the pushing the doc did on Monday… She told the Mage I should be feeling contractions… Well, no… no contractions… its all called being sore from being a guinea pig! During all this time I’ve felt nothing bothering this way, although I have complained about fatigue, back pain, and exhaustion… and endless nausea. All in all, so far I’ve had no varicose veins, no swelling, no linea negra, no huge belly, no weird side effects… I started acknowledging Deirdre’s moves I think a month ago… And that’s about it. My belly had not bothered me in any way until the last three days, after the almost-alien-dissection session… So I’m glad the swollen sides are going back to normal, it bothered sleep too much. Hopefully I will get a full night rest tonight.

La-la-la...

10-4