Friday, August 10, 2007
The AntiPaladin Warmage strikes back!
Good for her... bad for me... Got fever, nausea, dizziness, headache, overall crappiness... Someone is having fun. The little alien keeps moving from right to left, from left to right... always against my sleeping position soooooooooo I cannot sleep well because she counter-weights me! Having fun already? Just who do you think you are? Hmph!
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
WEEK 37
And so, WEEK 37 arrived, by now 37 with 3 days. So far, I've gained only 17 pounds and both my sugar levels and Deirdre are doing well. All efforts have paid off.
(info from www.whattoexpect.com)
BODY: Effacement and Dilation
Only three more weeks to go (can you believe it?). Actually, now that you're 37 weeks, your pregnancy is technically considered full-term — which means you can safely go into labor any day now. The big mystery, of course, is just when labor will actually begin. It's anyone's guess when your baby decides to make his or her appearance (sociably early, or fashionably late — or precisely right on time?), but that doesn't stop your practitioner from taking a shot at it. Unless you specifically request otherwise, most practitioners will perform internal checks of your cervix to assess your readiness for labor. Just what is he or she looking for? First, for dilation, or how far your cervix has opened (it needs to open to ten centimeters for the baby to pass through into the birth canal). Next, for cervical ripeness (making you wonder, perhaps, is this a cervix or a peach?), which is the consistency of the cervix. (It starts out being firm like the tip of your nose and softens to the same texture as the inside of your cheek). Next he or she will check for effacement, or how thin your cervix is (it'll be 100 percent effaced before you push your baby out). The position of your cervix (it moves from the back to the front as labor approaches) will also be assessed, and last but not least, your practitioner will measure the station (or position) of the baby in relation to your pelvis (the lower down your baby is, the closer you are to delivery). Although it all sounds very scientific, it's actually not at all. Having a cervix dilated to three centimeters or being 50 percent effaced is no indication that labor is imminent. You can be very dilated and not have your baby for weeks. Or your cervix can be high and closed during an exam one morning, only to be open and ready for business — and labor — by noon.
BABY: Light at the End of the TunnelWith just three more weeks to go and at about six and a half pounds (though weight and height vary from fetus to fetus), your baby is doing just fine. You can expect weight gain to be about half an ounce per day. (Boys, though, are likely to be heavier at birth than girls. And here's a bit of boy baby trivia to back that one up: Moms carrying boys tend to eat more than moms carrying girls — a foreshadowing of teenage refrigerator raids to come.) Since your little one is considered full-term now, if your baby was to leave the wet nest this week, he or she would likely thrive. That's because Mother Nature and you have done such a fine job. So what's keeping your little one busy while waiting it out until D-day? Practice, practice, practice. Your baby is simulating breathing by inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, sucking on his or her thumb, blinking, and pivoting from side to side (one day you feel the tushy on the left side, another day it has swung around to the right side). All these are skills needed for his or her next gig — starring as newborn. Here's an interesting fact: Your baby's head (which, by the way, is still growing) will, at birth, be the same size circumference as his or her hips, abdomen, and shoulders. And guess what's making an impression (literally) these days on those shoulders and hips: fat — causing little dimples in those cute elbows and knees, shoulders and hip, and creases and folds in the neck and wrists.
EATING: Protein, The Supermodel With SmartsProtein is the cover girl of nutrients these days, getting raves from many successful dieters. Since you know weight-loss diets are downright dangerous for expectant moms and their babies, you need to appreciate protein on a deeper level — for the brain power behind the beauty. While it's not just another pretty face, protein is made up of the amino acids that build your baby's adorable face — and every cell below it. Your baby's brain, in particular, needs these raw materials to transform itself into the wondrous organ that will help your baby breathe, walk, talk, and gleefully flush your car keys down the toilet in the years to come. During pregnancy, you need three servings of protein every day (the equivalent of about 75 grams). Most people have no trouble reaching this goal (especially if they've spent any time on the low-carb bandwagon), although if you're a vegetarian or vegan you may have to work a little harder. Getting your full protein quota is never more important than it is during this final trimester, when your baby's brain is developing fast and furiously — but it's also a great time to focus on protein sources that are extra high in omega-3 fatty acids like DHA (another must-have nutrient when it comes to baby brains — plus, one that's known to lower your risk of postpartum depression). Get your protein from all of these foods, but choose the starred (*) ones for their DHA star power: Lean meat, Grass-fed lean meat*, Poultry, Fish* (fatty fish, like wild salmon, anchovies, and sardines contain the most brain-boosting fatty acids, but all fish have some; see A Fish Tale) to learn which fish you can safely eat when you're expecting), Eggs* (choose DHA eggs for an omega-3 boost), Milk and other dairy products. Vegetarian options include: Beans, Tofu and other soy products (such as edamame and soy pasta), TVP (texturized vegetable protein; check the label for the protein-to-calorie ratio to make sure you're getting the biggest bang for your nutritional buck), Peanuts, peanut butter (check first with your practitioner if you or the baby's father has a history of food allergies), other nuts and seeds* (walnuts* pack the biggest DHA punch), Wheat germ, Whole-grain baked goods, Whole grains; an especially high protein variety is quinoa (pronounced keen-wa). It's also a good idea to chase your protein with an adequate supply of pyridoxine. Never heard of it? It's the vitamin also known as B6, and its job is to help your body — and your baby — use all that protein to do its cell-building job. (Think of it this way: If protein is the brick, B6is the mortar.) And B6 plays an especially big role in the development of the brain and nervous system. Like folic acid, it helps reduce the risk of neural tube defects. You'll find B6 in prenatal vitamins and also in bananas, avocados, wheat germ, brown rice, bran, soybeans, oatmeal, potatoes, tomatoes, spinach, watermelon, and meat (see, there's overlap with your protein sources, making your job even easier).
EXTRA: Your Feel-Good Kit
D-day is getting close, so it's time to pack your hospital bag (if you haven't already). Along with necessities, be sure to stash these feel-good items inside: lip balm (your lips will become very dry, even before you start panting), bands or scrunchies to keep your hair back, a brush (tangles are inevitable, plus having someone brush your hair may feel relaxing), massage oil, warm socks and slippers, moisturizer, mints, and a warm robe. They just might make your labor, delivery, and overall stay more comfortable. Remember, don't bring or wear anything you really love (like your favorite pj's or that fancy negligee) — it may get lost or ruined.
EXTRA: A Special Rub
Anxiously waiting for the big day to arrive? Don't just sit there — massage your perineum! (Say what? Trust me, there's good reason for this piece of advice.) Perineal massage may help to gently stretch your perineum (that area of skin between your vagina and rectum), which in turn can minimize the "stinging" that occurs when baby's head crowns during childbirth. It may also help you avoid an episiotomy and tearing. Here's how to massage your way to an easier (and looser, if you're lucky) labor: First make sure your hands (or your spouse's, if he'll be taking on the task) are clean and nails trimmed. Next, lubricate your thumbs or index fingers (here's where the K-Y jelly can come in handy — literally — again) and put them inside your vagina. Press down (toward your rectum) and slide your fingers across the bottom and sides of your perineum. You can do this daily until D-day (and you can even continue the good work — or have your practitioner take over — during labor itself!)…or not at all if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
DAD: Unclutter Your Nest
Funny, that overstuffed closet never bothered you before, but now you just have to organize it. And that cabinet over there really needs clearing out. Not to mention the basement…. Congratulations, your nesting instincts (dads have them, too, throughout the animal kingdom) have kicked in. Don't be surprised to suddenly find the energy (and the enthusiasm) for compulsive cleaning, painting, and organizing. Run (and dust) with it — it's nature's way of assuring that you'll have a comfy, clean nest for your baby when you all come home. Plus, it keeps your mind off your pre-delivery jitters. Your partner may be in nesting overdrive, too, but don't let her overdo it. (Keep her off ladders, okay?) On the other hand, fatigue may be her overriding instinct right now.
(info from www.whattoexpect.com)
BODY: Effacement and Dilation
Only three more weeks to go (can you believe it?). Actually, now that you're 37 weeks, your pregnancy is technically considered full-term — which means you can safely go into labor any day now. The big mystery, of course, is just when labor will actually begin. It's anyone's guess when your baby decides to make his or her appearance (sociably early, or fashionably late — or precisely right on time?), but that doesn't stop your practitioner from taking a shot at it. Unless you specifically request otherwise, most practitioners will perform internal checks of your cervix to assess your readiness for labor. Just what is he or she looking for? First, for dilation, or how far your cervix has opened (it needs to open to ten centimeters for the baby to pass through into the birth canal). Next, for cervical ripeness (making you wonder, perhaps, is this a cervix or a peach?), which is the consistency of the cervix. (It starts out being firm like the tip of your nose and softens to the same texture as the inside of your cheek). Next he or she will check for effacement, or how thin your cervix is (it'll be 100 percent effaced before you push your baby out). The position of your cervix (it moves from the back to the front as labor approaches) will also be assessed, and last but not least, your practitioner will measure the station (or position) of the baby in relation to your pelvis (the lower down your baby is, the closer you are to delivery). Although it all sounds very scientific, it's actually not at all. Having a cervix dilated to three centimeters or being 50 percent effaced is no indication that labor is imminent. You can be very dilated and not have your baby for weeks. Or your cervix can be high and closed during an exam one morning, only to be open and ready for business — and labor — by noon.
BABY: Light at the End of the TunnelWith just three more weeks to go and at about six and a half pounds (though weight and height vary from fetus to fetus), your baby is doing just fine. You can expect weight gain to be about half an ounce per day. (Boys, though, are likely to be heavier at birth than girls. And here's a bit of boy baby trivia to back that one up: Moms carrying boys tend to eat more than moms carrying girls — a foreshadowing of teenage refrigerator raids to come.) Since your little one is considered full-term now, if your baby was to leave the wet nest this week, he or she would likely thrive. That's because Mother Nature and you have done such a fine job. So what's keeping your little one busy while waiting it out until D-day? Practice, practice, practice. Your baby is simulating breathing by inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, sucking on his or her thumb, blinking, and pivoting from side to side (one day you feel the tushy on the left side, another day it has swung around to the right side). All these are skills needed for his or her next gig — starring as newborn. Here's an interesting fact: Your baby's head (which, by the way, is still growing) will, at birth, be the same size circumference as his or her hips, abdomen, and shoulders. And guess what's making an impression (literally) these days on those shoulders and hips: fat — causing little dimples in those cute elbows and knees, shoulders and hip, and creases and folds in the neck and wrists.
EATING: Protein, The Supermodel With SmartsProtein is the cover girl of nutrients these days, getting raves from many successful dieters. Since you know weight-loss diets are downright dangerous for expectant moms and their babies, you need to appreciate protein on a deeper level — for the brain power behind the beauty. While it's not just another pretty face, protein is made up of the amino acids that build your baby's adorable face — and every cell below it. Your baby's brain, in particular, needs these raw materials to transform itself into the wondrous organ that will help your baby breathe, walk, talk, and gleefully flush your car keys down the toilet in the years to come. During pregnancy, you need three servings of protein every day (the equivalent of about 75 grams). Most people have no trouble reaching this goal (especially if they've spent any time on the low-carb bandwagon), although if you're a vegetarian or vegan you may have to work a little harder. Getting your full protein quota is never more important than it is during this final trimester, when your baby's brain is developing fast and furiously — but it's also a great time to focus on protein sources that are extra high in omega-3 fatty acids like DHA (another must-have nutrient when it comes to baby brains — plus, one that's known to lower your risk of postpartum depression). Get your protein from all of these foods, but choose the starred (*) ones for their DHA star power: Lean meat, Grass-fed lean meat*, Poultry, Fish* (fatty fish, like wild salmon, anchovies, and sardines contain the most brain-boosting fatty acids, but all fish have some; see A Fish Tale) to learn which fish you can safely eat when you're expecting), Eggs* (choose DHA eggs for an omega-3 boost), Milk and other dairy products. Vegetarian options include: Beans, Tofu and other soy products (such as edamame and soy pasta), TVP (texturized vegetable protein; check the label for the protein-to-calorie ratio to make sure you're getting the biggest bang for your nutritional buck), Peanuts, peanut butter (check first with your practitioner if you or the baby's father has a history of food allergies), other nuts and seeds* (walnuts* pack the biggest DHA punch), Wheat germ, Whole-grain baked goods, Whole grains; an especially high protein variety is quinoa (pronounced keen-wa). It's also a good idea to chase your protein with an adequate supply of pyridoxine. Never heard of it? It's the vitamin also known as B6, and its job is to help your body — and your baby — use all that protein to do its cell-building job. (Think of it this way: If protein is the brick, B6is the mortar.) And B6 plays an especially big role in the development of the brain and nervous system. Like folic acid, it helps reduce the risk of neural tube defects. You'll find B6 in prenatal vitamins and also in bananas, avocados, wheat germ, brown rice, bran, soybeans, oatmeal, potatoes, tomatoes, spinach, watermelon, and meat (see, there's overlap with your protein sources, making your job even easier).
EXTRA: Your Feel-Good Kit
D-day is getting close, so it's time to pack your hospital bag (if you haven't already). Along with necessities, be sure to stash these feel-good items inside: lip balm (your lips will become very dry, even before you start panting), bands or scrunchies to keep your hair back, a brush (tangles are inevitable, plus having someone brush your hair may feel relaxing), massage oil, warm socks and slippers, moisturizer, mints, and a warm robe. They just might make your labor, delivery, and overall stay more comfortable. Remember, don't bring or wear anything you really love (like your favorite pj's or that fancy negligee) — it may get lost or ruined.
EXTRA: A Special Rub
Anxiously waiting for the big day to arrive? Don't just sit there — massage your perineum! (Say what? Trust me, there's good reason for this piece of advice.) Perineal massage may help to gently stretch your perineum (that area of skin between your vagina and rectum), which in turn can minimize the "stinging" that occurs when baby's head crowns during childbirth. It may also help you avoid an episiotomy and tearing. Here's how to massage your way to an easier (and looser, if you're lucky) labor: First make sure your hands (or your spouse's, if he'll be taking on the task) are clean and nails trimmed. Next, lubricate your thumbs or index fingers (here's where the K-Y jelly can come in handy — literally — again) and put them inside your vagina. Press down (toward your rectum) and slide your fingers across the bottom and sides of your perineum. You can do this daily until D-day (and you can even continue the good work — or have your practitioner take over — during labor itself!)…or not at all if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
DAD: Unclutter Your Nest
Funny, that overstuffed closet never bothered you before, but now you just have to organize it. And that cabinet over there really needs clearing out. Not to mention the basement…. Congratulations, your nesting instincts (dads have them, too, throughout the animal kingdom) have kicked in. Don't be surprised to suddenly find the energy (and the enthusiasm) for compulsive cleaning, painting, and organizing. Run (and dust) with it — it's nature's way of assuring that you'll have a comfy, clean nest for your baby when you all come home. Plus, it keeps your mind off your pre-delivery jitters. Your partner may be in nesting overdrive, too, but don't let her overdo it. (Keep her off ladders, okay?) On the other hand, fatigue may be her overriding instinct right now.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Gifts from the Umbrella Co. Crew...
Finally reached the pics from the mage's baby shower at his workplace, the Umbrella Co. Wheeee! :P Small crew that surprised the mage, making him turn red and bashful... LOL I'm glad that he got a taste of having a moment and feeling special. It's all not about me or Deirdre, daddy needs attention too.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Pressure, Scraps, Deedee and Friends
Slow day… Thankfully. Waking up in the mornings is becoming quite a heavy burden… literally. The weight of the baby is evident each time I move sideways. Sleeping on the right side leaves me with a dormant leg for almost half an hour. Sleeping on the left side although is the recommended position, is quite uncomfortable for me. Sleeping on my back leaves me with no air as the baby pushes herself upwards. Lately the viable solution is to go seat on the couch, which has been previously filled with pillows… And then the neck gets strained. Neverending story… Going upstairs is becoming more than a nuisance… I get to the first step and look up, and all I can do is sight and go step by step, one by one, slowly, so I make certain I don’t slip if it is wet. Reaching the upper floor deserves a standing ovation… The mage (and everyone else, as a matter of fact) is enjoying watching my “penguin walk”… yes, it looks funny… Feeling the pressure of the head in the lower abdomen is not a funny matter, though… Mostly it is that pressure that makes me completely uncomfortable and grouchy. I need to walk around and stand in order to do things, and now I’m forced to stay seated or laying back… Everything is a mess and how can I put things together without balance and strength? Yes, everything is VERY frustrating.
Got some scrapbooking papers and stuff so I know I’ll be very entertained at home for those 3 months I should stay confined. I received the bundle of wedding pictures, which also have the honeymoon pics and some other pics of the travels around the isle. I should put most pregnancy pics together so I send them to the photo place as soon as possible, so I can do the beginning of the baby scrapbook beginning with the ultrasounds. Been collecting ideas, gotta do some journaling so I don’t forget some details and so I know exactly what should go where… It will be fun keeping track of all the firsts after Deirdre is born… the arrival home, first Halloween (VERY important!), first Thanksgiving, first Xmas… and all the other firsts that are corny but cute.
Deirdre is moving a lot, side to side. On the last visit to the doctor I was quite blah and sad thanks to everything that has been going on… but the doctor has a nice empathy and says things that fits the picture to perfection even if he has no idea of what the problems are. Yes, only God keeps promises and is always there unconditionally. He mentioned he expects the birthing to be without complications… hopefully a Cesarean will be avoided, if things keep normal. Deirdre is in the right position, and I have turned out quite stable. If there are no hidden surprises, piece of cake… sort of… My diabetes has me nervous, but I know everything is under control. I’ve followed the rules… and strayed only occasionally. From 218 I went down to 213 when I began the nutritionist diet, and then have gained weight appropriately until now, that I am at 228. Fifteen pounds so far… Not bad at all. Now I should try to take care and not let it go any further, so things keep on in control… It’s just that and moving is such a hassle! I don’t get how women let themselves blow up 30-40 pounds!
Started grouping all the things we’ll need at the hospital. Baby stuff is ready, and mommy’s stuff is almost ready. I’m so minimalistic, but I don’t envision an expedition. I trust it will be two days at the hospital, to say the most. Will keep the pillow and the warm and cozy comforter close at hand in the car… I cannot be without a comforter. Need to figure out how the breast pump works so it won’t be another on-the-spot nuisance.
I’m very happy with all the stuff that was gathered for Deirdre one way or the other. I was worried about not having been able to buy her anything, but between the baby showers and what the failed committee got, it all is more than enough. Yes, it is all very pink (and I hope that in the end it is not a boy or he’ll have some mild pinkish trauma! LOL), but both the used clothing and the new items are perfect. I see most things as commodities, I only expected being able to cover the basics. People have been very generous, to my surprise. The only things that are left to be found are a cradle and a changing table, but that is not disturbing me. Right now, I have very little space and I know Deirdre will be staying in our room until Xmas. If the cradle doesn’t appear, I’ll just get a twin bed and fence it up. I think that in the long run it is the best decision so money is spent wisely. I hope that the windows-A/C-bath are done soon enough, to at least do something to the designated growing up room… Feng-shui should be followed… And the kitties shall be free one month from now. I’ll figure out what to do with the room’s décor… May give some wooden planks to Groundel so he draws the cartoons I may need for that endeavour… I like murals, but should keep things changeable simply because I like so many different things… StrawberryShortcake, HK, Skelanimals, CareBears, RaggedyAnn… Wooden planks will make decorating easier. Gotta put up the closet, another project for the mage.
Things will never be perfect, but they can always become bearable. For me it is the people who works that magic, not the possessions. Somehow that small thing gets lost in translation whenever people try pleasing me in any way. I don’t care about expensive gifts, I don’t care about the razzle-dazzle. I care about warmth and feelings and presence and creating special memories. I care about traditions and values. For someone who is such an anti-social loner, I like being around some special people just because. I don’t understand why if I can make the time to do so, most simply won’t do the same. I understand the haste of today’s living, but… there must always be time to roast marshmallows… there must always be time to watch a sunset… Throughout the years, I’ve watched how things have changed so much all around me. I recall friends meeting friends in a weekly basis, to share joys and woes… and it didn’t matter if there was pizza or just bread and water. Distance should not be an excuse... this is an island. We are close no matter where we are. Family should not be an excuse… Friends are the family you choose through your lifetime, for better or for worst. I don’t understand why small things destroy such special bonds… small stupid things that could be fixed with such ease…
I have always had an alien view of reality… The more years that people know me, the less they pay attention to who I am, to what matters the most for me. The surface seems so unstable… so rippled… But I am as I have always been. My dreams have not changed that much. My belief in my friends have not changed that much. I understand many things about all the people that I care for, and most of the times it seems I’m the only one who sees all that they are capable of achieving. I’ve always been the silent watcher. From the shadows I see everything… and I may even make some miracles happen, just because… getting no credit for them, but plenty of joy simply because I made things happen… Always the human guardian angel of those I love the most. And even if disappointment breaks me, I know more than just to take things lightly or as an absolute. How can I go through life being heartbroken? The phoenix brings strength and hope simply by existing. It is immortal simply by letting its passion consume it... so it’s reborn. And as such, I am. Maybe someday those around me will see me as I really am, instead of assuming or judging based on what they perceive as the truth about the witch… Maybe someday they will learn to read the truth from the blood, from the depths… from the reins zenith… As it should be. In the meanwhile… I’ll just keep the wishful thoughts of dreaming of knights and courage and loyalty and faith. Hopefully some of it will stick in Deirdre's subcontious...
10-4
Got some scrapbooking papers and stuff so I know I’ll be very entertained at home for those 3 months I should stay confined. I received the bundle of wedding pictures, which also have the honeymoon pics and some other pics of the travels around the isle. I should put most pregnancy pics together so I send them to the photo place as soon as possible, so I can do the beginning of the baby scrapbook beginning with the ultrasounds. Been collecting ideas, gotta do some journaling so I don’t forget some details and so I know exactly what should go where… It will be fun keeping track of all the firsts after Deirdre is born… the arrival home, first Halloween (VERY important!), first Thanksgiving, first Xmas… and all the other firsts that are corny but cute.
Deirdre is moving a lot, side to side. On the last visit to the doctor I was quite blah and sad thanks to everything that has been going on… but the doctor has a nice empathy and says things that fits the picture to perfection even if he has no idea of what the problems are. Yes, only God keeps promises and is always there unconditionally. He mentioned he expects the birthing to be without complications… hopefully a Cesarean will be avoided, if things keep normal. Deirdre is in the right position, and I have turned out quite stable. If there are no hidden surprises, piece of cake… sort of… My diabetes has me nervous, but I know everything is under control. I’ve followed the rules… and strayed only occasionally. From 218 I went down to 213 when I began the nutritionist diet, and then have gained weight appropriately until now, that I am at 228. Fifteen pounds so far… Not bad at all. Now I should try to take care and not let it go any further, so things keep on in control… It’s just that and moving is such a hassle! I don’t get how women let themselves blow up 30-40 pounds!
Started grouping all the things we’ll need at the hospital. Baby stuff is ready, and mommy’s stuff is almost ready. I’m so minimalistic, but I don’t envision an expedition. I trust it will be two days at the hospital, to say the most. Will keep the pillow and the warm and cozy comforter close at hand in the car… I cannot be without a comforter. Need to figure out how the breast pump works so it won’t be another on-the-spot nuisance.
I’m very happy with all the stuff that was gathered for Deirdre one way or the other. I was worried about not having been able to buy her anything, but between the baby showers and what the failed committee got, it all is more than enough. Yes, it is all very pink (and I hope that in the end it is not a boy or he’ll have some mild pinkish trauma! LOL), but both the used clothing and the new items are perfect. I see most things as commodities, I only expected being able to cover the basics. People have been very generous, to my surprise. The only things that are left to be found are a cradle and a changing table, but that is not disturbing me. Right now, I have very little space and I know Deirdre will be staying in our room until Xmas. If the cradle doesn’t appear, I’ll just get a twin bed and fence it up. I think that in the long run it is the best decision so money is spent wisely. I hope that the windows-A/C-bath are done soon enough, to at least do something to the designated growing up room… Feng-shui should be followed… And the kitties shall be free one month from now. I’ll figure out what to do with the room’s décor… May give some wooden planks to Groundel so he draws the cartoons I may need for that endeavour… I like murals, but should keep things changeable simply because I like so many different things… StrawberryShortcake, HK, Skelanimals, CareBears, RaggedyAnn… Wooden planks will make decorating easier. Gotta put up the closet, another project for the mage.
Things will never be perfect, but they can always become bearable. For me it is the people who works that magic, not the possessions. Somehow that small thing gets lost in translation whenever people try pleasing me in any way. I don’t care about expensive gifts, I don’t care about the razzle-dazzle. I care about warmth and feelings and presence and creating special memories. I care about traditions and values. For someone who is such an anti-social loner, I like being around some special people just because. I don’t understand why if I can make the time to do so, most simply won’t do the same. I understand the haste of today’s living, but… there must always be time to roast marshmallows… there must always be time to watch a sunset… Throughout the years, I’ve watched how things have changed so much all around me. I recall friends meeting friends in a weekly basis, to share joys and woes… and it didn’t matter if there was pizza or just bread and water. Distance should not be an excuse... this is an island. We are close no matter where we are. Family should not be an excuse… Friends are the family you choose through your lifetime, for better or for worst. I don’t understand why small things destroy such special bonds… small stupid things that could be fixed with such ease…
I have always had an alien view of reality… The more years that people know me, the less they pay attention to who I am, to what matters the most for me. The surface seems so unstable… so rippled… But I am as I have always been. My dreams have not changed that much. My belief in my friends have not changed that much. I understand many things about all the people that I care for, and most of the times it seems I’m the only one who sees all that they are capable of achieving. I’ve always been the silent watcher. From the shadows I see everything… and I may even make some miracles happen, just because… getting no credit for them, but plenty of joy simply because I made things happen… Always the human guardian angel of those I love the most. And even if disappointment breaks me, I know more than just to take things lightly or as an absolute. How can I go through life being heartbroken? The phoenix brings strength and hope simply by existing. It is immortal simply by letting its passion consume it... so it’s reborn. And as such, I am. Maybe someday those around me will see me as I really am, instead of assuming or judging based on what they perceive as the truth about the witch… Maybe someday they will learn to read the truth from the blood, from the depths… from the reins zenith… As it should be. In the meanwhile… I’ll just keep the wishful thoughts of dreaming of knights and courage and loyalty and faith. Hopefully some of it will stick in Deirdre's subcontious...
10-4
Monday, July 30, 2007
WEEK 36... and two days...
Here's the penguin showing off the belly... Enjoy!
(info from www.whattoexpect.com)
BODY: Pregnant Walk or Waddle
Welcome to your last month of pregnancy! By now, you're definitely looking the part of a nearly full-term pregnant women (wide load, coming through), but are you walking the part? Do you have that telltale stride, the penguin waddle that many third-trimester moms-to-be seem to affect? The pregnant waddle is not in your imagination, it's in your connective tissue. Those persistent pregnancy hormones (when will they leave you alone?) cause the connective tissue in your body to soften and loosen. And that's particularly important now that you're nearing D-day (delivery day). Your baby — who's grown quite large by this point — needs to squeeze through your pelvic bones, so it's a good thing that they're more flexible now. The downside to all this joint flexibility (besides the resemblance you now bear to your feathered friends up north) is discomfort in your pelvis and hip. Add the pressure from your baby's head (burrowing deeper and deeper into your pelvis now) and your heavier uterus weighing you down, and it's no wonder it's a pain to walk around these days. To relieve the pain, relax with your hips elevated, do some pelvic exercises, take warm baths, apply warm compresses, get a massage, or try some complementary and alternative therapies. A belly sling may be helpful, too. There is a happy upshot to all this pelvic discomfort, believe it or not. As your baby drops into your pelvic cavity (and keep in mind that not all babies drop before labor begins), the upward pressure of the uterus on your diaphragm is relieved. Once this "lightening" (as it's known in the pregnancy business) strikes, you'll be able to take bigger and deeper breaths. Your stomach also won't be so squished anymore, making eating a full meal more comfortable.
BABY: Skulls and Bones
Your baby's skull isn't the only soft structure in his or her little body. Most of your baby's bones and cartilage are quite soft as well (they'll harden over the first few years of life) — allowing for an easier journey as your baby squeezes through the birth canal at delivery (and less prodding and poking for Mom along the way). The skull bones are also not fused together yet so that the head can easily (well, relatively easily) maneuver through the birth canal. So your little bruiser (who you've now learned won't be bruising you all that much with those soft bones) is now about six pounds in weight and measures slightly more than 20 inches in length. Growth will experience a slowdown now, both so your baby will be able to fit the narrow passageway to the outside and also so he or she can store up all the energy needed for delivery. By now, many of your baby's systems are pretty mature, at least in baby terms — and just about ready for life on the outside. Blood circulation, for instance, has been perfected and your baby's immune system has matured enough to protect him or her from infections outside the womb. Other systems, however, still need a few finishing touches. Once such notable example: digestion — which actually won't be fully mature until sometime after birth. Why's that? Inside his or her little gestational cocoon, your baby has relied on the umbilical cord for nutrition, meaning that the digestive system — though developed — hasn't been operational. So your baby will take the first year or two to bring that system up to speed.
EXTRA: Ten Ways to Banish the Heartburn
It's that last stretch of pregnancy, when you can almost see the finish line — and it seems like your heartburn wants to stay with you every step of the way. Nearly half of your expectant running mates have also been feeling your pain — probably for most of their pregnancies — and with good reason. Among the smooth muscles that are loosening and relaxing under the strict orders of your hormonal regime is that ring of muscle that separates the esophagus from the stomach. When this muscle loosens, the harsh digestive juices from your tummy back up into your esophagus. The stomach acids irritate the sensitive esophageal lining (right around where your heart is, though it has nothing to do with your heart), creating that searing pain. Luckily, there are some steps you can take to put the fire out:
1. Sit up and take notice. Make sure to sit upright while eating — and stay that way for a couple of hours after you eat. Lying down, slouching, slumping, and stooping will do you in. And when you have to bend, do it with your knees instead of at your waist (or you'll send all that acid for a repeat ride up your esophagus).
2. Chew it over. Do your body a favor and eat slowly. Chewing is the first step in the digestive process, but the one that's most often neglected when eating's done on the run. The more you chew, the less work your stomach has to do. Another chew that's good for you: Chewing sugarless gum will increase saliva, which can help neutralize acid in the esophagus. And while you're at it, leave stress off the menu — anxious eating compounds digestive distresses of all kinds, including heartburn.
3. Catch the early bird special. Not to save money — but to save yourself heartburn. Whether you're eating at home or out, take your last big meal at least two hours before bedtime so your stomach can get started on digestion before you lie down for the night. (A before-bed snack is fine, so long as it's light and easy to digest.)
4. Break it up. Better still, skip those big meals altogether — six small meals are the pregnancy solution to just about whatever ails you, from heartburn to bloating to lagging energy level, you name it.
5. Think loose and flowing. No matter how voluptuous your upper curves make you feel, if you have heartburn, now is not the time to wear anything that Pamela Anderson might favor — tight clothes just fuel the burn.
6. Don't play with matches. Some things are sure to light your heartburn fire. Just say no to highly seasoned spicy food, caffeine (this also relaxes the esophageal valve), alcohol (which is off the menu anyway), greasy foods of all kinds, and too much citrus. (If OJ gives you trouble, water it down a bit — or buy a low acid variety.) Peppermint turns up the burn in some women, but not all.
7. Hold your head up. Sleeping with your head elevated about six inches can keep the burn from waking you up.
8. Keep it down. Extra pounds can make heartburn extra worse. Try to stay within the 25-to-35-pound recommended weight gain.
9. Raise your hand. Ask your practitioner whether he or she has a preference for an over-the-counter antacid or whether you need prescription strength. As you've probably already figured out, taking Tums or Rolaids is a great way to ban the burn while boosting your calcium intake.
10. Feel like a natural woman. If you want to avoid over-the-counter antacids, you can try the following popular folk remedies: Papaya (fresh or dried, you can also ask your practitioner about the safety of using chewable papaya enzymes. You can find these in health-food stores.) Almonds (Good for calcium as well as being a stomach settler) A tablespoon of honey in warm milk (Yummy and relaxing. Some say all dairy helps, and others say the opposite. At the very least you'll get in your calcium.)
LOOKING GOOD: Hair's the Truth
Has pregnancy weight found its way to your face? Of course it has. A great way to achieve that elusive illusion of slimness is to start with your hair. Up-dos create a slimming effect by giving you instant height, so pull your hair into a high ponytail or simply twist your locks into a high knot and fasten with a barrette. Another way to add height to your look — while subtracting width from your face: Use a volumizing gel at the roots of your hair and then blowdry, lifting the roots with a brush as you go. Avoid middle parts, which round your face even more, opt for a side part instead — and steer clear of blunt bangs (have them cut into wispy lengths or angled for a slimmer look).
EXTRA: Breathe Easy
Chances are you'll never have to use this skill, but knowing how to perform CPR on your newborn — and later as he or she grows into a risk-taking toddler — is just plain smart. There are plenty of classes out there, including low- or no-cost options at your YMCA, hospital, community center, or local chapters of the American Red Cross or American Heart Association. (Your childbirth education class might even include baby CPR in its curriculum.) Another option — and a potentially fun one at that: Throw a CPR party at home, which allows you to share childcare resources (and appetizers) with other new parents. Whichever class you choose, make sure you find a certified instructor (ask your practitioner for a referral) who comes equipped with her own "bogus babies."
DAD: Stay In Touch
Keep your cell phone and/or pager charged up and turned on at all times. At the gym, keep it nearby on a towel or on top of your kit bag — you might not hear it ring if it's buried under your sweat socks. Alert your buddies and co-workers to the fact that you need to know if your phone rings when you're in the john. Start thinking ahead to D-day, and plan your work schedule with it in mind. Let your boss know that you'll need to stick close to home during this last month — just in case. And speaking of planning your work schedule — if you haven't put in for some post-delivery time off yet, now's the time. down on all fours to practice those first-aid breaths with your belly in the way!)
DAD: Location, Location, Location
By now it's crossed your mind that your baby's birth could be one of those dramatic roadside deliveries in the backseat, attended by a traffic cop, covered by the 11 o'clock news. Prepare for that possibility (as remote as it is), but also prepare so that it doesn't happen. Make sure there's gas in the car and that you're familiar with the best, easiest routes to the hospital or birthing center, given the vagaries of traffic flow at different times of day. Have some alternatives in mind. And just in case, it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep a blanket in the backseat, a gallon of bottled water, and some towels.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
RoseRed: A Place for a Baby Shower Flop
Friday. What an awful day… The electrician did not appear and the two people who were supposed to help me clean the house did not show up their noses, or call to let me know they wouldn’t/couldn’t go. How surprising… I was too sad and edgy and frustrated to do anything… So, I ended up having an unreasonable heated argument with the mage, then shutting off completely only to wake up at 2am realizing I recalled nothing on the past hours and I had not even changed or taken a bath… Too exhausted. Too depressed… And feeling that things were to crumble anyway… Boy, and I knew nothing…
Saturday morning... The beginning of very… interesting (to say the least and keep this PG) day… The morning began with me flipping about everything… Second heavy argument with the mage. So much stress and pressure from so many things have been too bottled up within me... The lack of communication and shadyness about the baby shower did not help either. It is now that I realize that no one really takes into consideration how/what I may be feeling about things... Just because I am strong it doesn't mean I have no emotions... My best friends take that for granted all the time. After all, I am such a bitch...
Anyway... Considering the odds, I still kept part of my mind focused on simply cleaning what I could, and try to make things bearable. The infamous Baby Shower would happen in my so called home, dear RoseRed, and at the last minute no one showed up to help (contrary to what was scheduled or promised… para variar). But, fine… I’m Aries, I push throug anything closing my eyes and ramming with my horny head…
Morning passed away, and no one from the Baby Shower Crew called. In the afternoon, the sound of woes echoed at my door as LightShadow and Groundel arrived… That meant that whatever was to happen, would happen in a few minutes since the Baby Shower had been scheduled to begin at 2pm… They brought in a small set of small pirate bags, the lovely party favors. Well, eight bags full of goodies… Things looked up, they expected eight people to arrive. Cool. I can deal with a simply friendly gathering...
Groundel was quite pissed at his not being able to finish the drawings/posters he had been working on during the week due to lack of paint. He put them in the table, and well… Ot was a shame he couldn’t complete them. They were perfect. I loved the Pirate Chococat. And Keroppi would have been cute… Hope he finishes later on… I do have paint with the colors he needed… (But since it all was to be such a big surprise, I was not bothered/asked about that… no comments).
So… LightShadow went to show me the invitation that was done for the big event. Very cute, very professionally done. Damn, it looked as if it had been bought! She once again had showed off her graphic arts skills… A shame the effort ended up as a big waste. I don’t know if they actually changed the address in the ones they gave to people… or what happened about the place at all.
As a matter of fact, the place could have been funded by the mage and me IF we had been informed/asked about it. The price was $125, and that was quite bearable… And the priest of the church nearby knows the person in charge (not to mention that the guy lives nearby too…) So I don’t get why the place blew out as no attainable or no affordable…
But as someone stated somewhere, shit happens. And the crew decided to follow the original idea of doing things in my lovely RoseRed… And went on with ideas and plans that were not to be mentioned to me… More than two months of accurate, top secret planning… So secret that they hid information from themselves it seems… Beware when a ship has 3 captains… Egos may collide and cause it to flunk.
So, I kept cleaning a bit more, decided to take a bath and then sat in the so-called living room pondering why in blazes Coriolis and Raven had not arrived by 3:00pm. I knew in the back of my head the bird of doom kept flying in circles, ready to eat the carrion. The mage took a bath, and as I mentioned a “how strange that Coriolis has not arrived”, LightShadow looked at me with big eyes as she said “You mean you don’t know?”. Oh… I was trying to keep my cool but really… when reality slaps you in an unpolite way you either slap back or just go away. My hopes for at least a small thing went down the drain (yes, until that moment I had the hope that perhaps this time a miracle will happen and I would actually be able to have an activity even if small and cozy… My 15 years celebration was crap, my 2 graduations were not acknowledged… my marriage could not have a reception… So I expected something as simple as a baby shower to go well… What a fool I am!).
I asked if they had called the people to let them know that there would be no gathering… They began but didn’t finish. When I say people it basically meant my co-workers as within the last week I was struck by lightning and the fact that my family & acquaintances as well as the mages family and acquaintances had not been informed of the activity. Only the list of co-workers had received invitations…
Is it me, or is there no common sense involved in this fact? Because for all I know, it is family and the close ones who get the expensive stuff that you need… not co-workers. Plus, if a gathering is about celebrating an addition to the family… there should be family in the gathering… Well… Maybe I’m wrong. Total strangers should be the first in line to be contacted and to visit your house…
As the mage took a bath and Groundel & LightShadow played "briscas" on the stairway, one of the mage’s friends appeared. He stayed for a bit, the mage told him what was not going on and so he left (he had to, anyway, the guy had been working during the morning and was quite exhausted). As I approached the stairs I announced the elf and the half-org that we would leave. I just wanted to get out of the house. I was too pissed and sad and disappointed to stay there any longer. I had heard Groundel talking on the cel but didn’t mind it much as he used an even tone…
So, the mage and I closed the house and as I was looking for my keys, Raven appeared. It was after 4pm… She came in with something, didn’t even say hello, put something in the fridge… Her hubby went after her, carrying gift baskets that he placed on the counter… Then they turned to leave… No words, just a plain smile that did much to enrage me. My first thought was WTF? Now you appear? The party started at 2pm, and you were the one in charge of organizing… even if nothing was to happen, the least you could have done was arrive on time or at least call.
I tried breathing in and out, and simply asked “what happened?”. She just answered something with 3 to 4 words and kept going… to the car and off the place. As simple and as fast as that… I guess that it was all part of following the secrecy of the plans…
As the mage closed the house, a car arrived. Cook had come with her kids to deliver a present. She mentioned that she just called Lulu and had just been informed the shower’s date had been changed. But she wanted to deliver the present anyway… So she did, and then left. As I was to get in the car LightShadow asked what I was going to do… Well… Eat something as I have had no lunch, and see a movie. So she followed to the chicken place, Groundel being her co-pilot. As we finished eating, she had to go, as well as the half-orc, so the party was divided. I tried reaching Coriolis 3 times, no answer. I figured he must have been pissed and so he had disconnected his cel… Wouldn’t be the first time he does so…
So… In the end it is just the mage and me… As it all started… We saw Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix, then went to see auntie to tell her that no, there was no party and that it was pretty stupid of her to think she is a nuisance to me… And then we went home. RoseRed looked quite pleased… She had the chaos of the month in just 24 hours, and she loved it. At least someone was happy about it all… Yeah, a house…
As we got there, I went to the counter that had the basket and bags of baby clothing… and the 8 bags of party favors. I took one of the favor bags to open the small scroll of games, and to take the coins out. I just thought “Well, following my tradition of celebrations that cannot or must not be… Welcome home, Deirdre. This is my life. And that‘s why I named you after the Lady of Sorrows’ legend… Welcome to my world”.
I cried for a long while. I guess no one understood anything of how important this was for me… I let go of directing the ship knowing that it would all go to hell… but did so because I believed in my close friends… because I trusted they could do amazing things together… I even trusted the one who arrived 1 ½ hours late for my wedding… Well… in a life filled with only big disappointments, it is all right. I knew what would happen. I got what I deserved.
10-4
Saturday morning... The beginning of very… interesting (to say the least and keep this PG) day… The morning began with me flipping about everything… Second heavy argument with the mage. So much stress and pressure from so many things have been too bottled up within me... The lack of communication and shadyness about the baby shower did not help either. It is now that I realize that no one really takes into consideration how/what I may be feeling about things... Just because I am strong it doesn't mean I have no emotions... My best friends take that for granted all the time. After all, I am such a bitch...
Anyway... Considering the odds, I still kept part of my mind focused on simply cleaning what I could, and try to make things bearable. The infamous Baby Shower would happen in my so called home, dear RoseRed, and at the last minute no one showed up to help (contrary to what was scheduled or promised… para variar). But, fine… I’m Aries, I push throug anything closing my eyes and ramming with my horny head…
Morning passed away, and no one from the Baby Shower Crew called. In the afternoon, the sound of woes echoed at my door as LightShadow and Groundel arrived… That meant that whatever was to happen, would happen in a few minutes since the Baby Shower had been scheduled to begin at 2pm… They brought in a small set of small pirate bags, the lovely party favors. Well, eight bags full of goodies… Things looked up, they expected eight people to arrive. Cool. I can deal with a simply friendly gathering...
Groundel was quite pissed at his not being able to finish the drawings/posters he had been working on during the week due to lack of paint. He put them in the table, and well… Ot was a shame he couldn’t complete them. They were perfect. I loved the Pirate Chococat. And Keroppi would have been cute… Hope he finishes later on… I do have paint with the colors he needed… (But since it all was to be such a big surprise, I was not bothered/asked about that… no comments).
So… LightShadow went to show me the invitation that was done for the big event. Very cute, very professionally done. Damn, it looked as if it had been bought! She once again had showed off her graphic arts skills… A shame the effort ended up as a big waste. I don’t know if they actually changed the address in the ones they gave to people… or what happened about the place at all.
As a matter of fact, the place could have been funded by the mage and me IF we had been informed/asked about it. The price was $125, and that was quite bearable… And the priest of the church nearby knows the person in charge (not to mention that the guy lives nearby too…) So I don’t get why the place blew out as no attainable or no affordable…
But as someone stated somewhere, shit happens. And the crew decided to follow the original idea of doing things in my lovely RoseRed… And went on with ideas and plans that were not to be mentioned to me… More than two months of accurate, top secret planning… So secret that they hid information from themselves it seems… Beware when a ship has 3 captains… Egos may collide and cause it to flunk.
So, I kept cleaning a bit more, decided to take a bath and then sat in the so-called living room pondering why in blazes Coriolis and Raven had not arrived by 3:00pm. I knew in the back of my head the bird of doom kept flying in circles, ready to eat the carrion. The mage took a bath, and as I mentioned a “how strange that Coriolis has not arrived”, LightShadow looked at me with big eyes as she said “You mean you don’t know?”. Oh… I was trying to keep my cool but really… when reality slaps you in an unpolite way you either slap back or just go away. My hopes for at least a small thing went down the drain (yes, until that moment I had the hope that perhaps this time a miracle will happen and I would actually be able to have an activity even if small and cozy… My 15 years celebration was crap, my 2 graduations were not acknowledged… my marriage could not have a reception… So I expected something as simple as a baby shower to go well… What a fool I am!).
I asked if they had called the people to let them know that there would be no gathering… They began but didn’t finish. When I say people it basically meant my co-workers as within the last week I was struck by lightning and the fact that my family & acquaintances as well as the mages family and acquaintances had not been informed of the activity. Only the list of co-workers had received invitations…
Is it me, or is there no common sense involved in this fact? Because for all I know, it is family and the close ones who get the expensive stuff that you need… not co-workers. Plus, if a gathering is about celebrating an addition to the family… there should be family in the gathering… Well… Maybe I’m wrong. Total strangers should be the first in line to be contacted and to visit your house…
As the mage took a bath and Groundel & LightShadow played "briscas" on the stairway, one of the mage’s friends appeared. He stayed for a bit, the mage told him what was not going on and so he left (he had to, anyway, the guy had been working during the morning and was quite exhausted). As I approached the stairs I announced the elf and the half-org that we would leave. I just wanted to get out of the house. I was too pissed and sad and disappointed to stay there any longer. I had heard Groundel talking on the cel but didn’t mind it much as he used an even tone…
So, the mage and I closed the house and as I was looking for my keys, Raven appeared. It was after 4pm… She came in with something, didn’t even say hello, put something in the fridge… Her hubby went after her, carrying gift baskets that he placed on the counter… Then they turned to leave… No words, just a plain smile that did much to enrage me. My first thought was WTF? Now you appear? The party started at 2pm, and you were the one in charge of organizing… even if nothing was to happen, the least you could have done was arrive on time or at least call.
I tried breathing in and out, and simply asked “what happened?”. She just answered something with 3 to 4 words and kept going… to the car and off the place. As simple and as fast as that… I guess that it was all part of following the secrecy of the plans…
As the mage closed the house, a car arrived. Cook had come with her kids to deliver a present. She mentioned that she just called Lulu and had just been informed the shower’s date had been changed. But she wanted to deliver the present anyway… So she did, and then left. As I was to get in the car LightShadow asked what I was going to do… Well… Eat something as I have had no lunch, and see a movie. So she followed to the chicken place, Groundel being her co-pilot. As we finished eating, she had to go, as well as the half-orc, so the party was divided. I tried reaching Coriolis 3 times, no answer. I figured he must have been pissed and so he had disconnected his cel… Wouldn’t be the first time he does so…
So… In the end it is just the mage and me… As it all started… We saw Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix, then went to see auntie to tell her that no, there was no party and that it was pretty stupid of her to think she is a nuisance to me… And then we went home. RoseRed looked quite pleased… She had the chaos of the month in just 24 hours, and she loved it. At least someone was happy about it all… Yeah, a house…
As we got there, I went to the counter that had the basket and bags of baby clothing… and the 8 bags of party favors. I took one of the favor bags to open the small scroll of games, and to take the coins out. I just thought “Well, following my tradition of celebrations that cannot or must not be… Welcome home, Deirdre. This is my life. And that‘s why I named you after the Lady of Sorrows’ legend… Welcome to my world”.
I cried for a long while. I guess no one understood anything of how important this was for me… I let go of directing the ship knowing that it would all go to hell… but did so because I believed in my close friends… because I trusted they could do amazing things together… I even trusted the one who arrived 1 ½ hours late for my wedding… Well… in a life filled with only big disappointments, it is all right. I knew what would happen. I got what I deserved.
10-4
Friday, July 20, 2007
From the witch's workden
This is what my co-workers nailed. I tried to put things together at home so the mage would have a taste of what he missed. :) I was surprised with the pirate HK theme, especially the cooky Keroppi.
The last two days have been a rollercoaster of emotions and rage and happyness. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe is the people, maybe it's me... My trying to make a home out of Rosered is a bit uphill... Contacts keep failing me. I want to put everything together so when Deirdre come in the only setup I will have to do is hers. Aint got dwarves to help me in that quest... just people that sometimes may show up if time is available (and more often than not they have too many things going on in their lives to actually help anyway). Very frustrating, discouraging and lonely. The mage helps, but since we have cross-starred schedules, most things just don't get done in a reasonable amount of time. And the handypersons we are to use have a knack for not showing up when they scheduled they would... in a repetitive basis... Not even being paid is reason enough to make people responsible. i get beyond mad and depressed because at 8 months pregnant there ain't much I can do if I want to keep Deirdre safe... I have been pushing myself to get the basics done and it drains me completely. I hope this madness ends next week, if the people actually follow through...
Besides RoseRed not finding a good tailor, the private shower thing has been a hair raising thing to witness. What a snowball... and in the middle of summer... Things look pretty bad in that matter. So I expect nothing but a friendly gathering that will be short-lived. Who knows, maybe I can get REALLY surprised in the end... Whatever. Everything has been covered thanks to bystander who have helped... Deirdre will be just fine.
Now, just stop being feisty,girl, and lemme climb upstairs, damnit.
10-4
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