Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Sunshine of the spotless hope...

Been quite hysterical about everything lately. Finances down, making everything too difficult. Worried about what I should have by now, what I don’t and what needs to be fixed in the friggin house so at least basics are done. Not easy… Very stressful… Didn’t stop to think that letting it all out would pass the stress to the mage in a negative way. Wasn’t my intention to make him more stressed than he already must be…

Yesterday was about surprising me… I guess it’s Heaven’s way of letting me know that I should have more faith, that things are not so grim as I think… The co-worker that lend me the breastfeeding book had a small surprise. She brought the infant car seat she’s no longer using, along with the breastfeeding donut, a baby carrying sling, car shades and the microwaveable bottle sterilizer. That was really nice of her. When strangers do unexpected things for you… But she can relate to me in many ways. It was her hubby and her, not much family sharing anything and lots of financial gambling.

Another co-worker, the one with the son-in-law that works in the hospital putting anesthesia, also told me she had something to give me. She got the crib bumpers and some clothing (her daughter went on a buying spree since she’s having a baby too and got carried away and in the end didn’t like/want/need some items she got).

There was a morning presentation on retirement plans... Got convinced with an insurance that works like a savings account but without gov tributation and without risk and with a fair interest rate... Decided to enroll on that, so there will be some sort of funding from here to 20 years either to finish off debts or to help Deirdre's education or to keep for my own retirement... Was thinking of that anyway, but I know a savings account wouldn't work for me, it's too accessible.

By the end of the day got a call from one of the loan places, and upon explaining the situation they worked on approving a renovation that may be of help to actually do the basic stuff, leave a small reserve just in case and breathe a bit.

I guess the ups and downs in everything has also been affecting the way I process insulin, getting high ranges of 157 to 200 by midday without straying far from the diet… Don’t know what more I can do about that. Had to limit tests because the needles are expensive and couldn’t get them. Tomorrow I have a gyn appointment, we’ll see what he has to say about that.

Moody, sad... Trying to find a positive side on things (which I don't really see...) Oh, well... Just got the address of a pulguero nearby that has affordable ovejos. Yup, gotta get me a pair of sheep so they take care of the riscos from Anthill... LOL I'm not kidding... Easy to maintain (they eat anything with leaves) and seems they are better than cabritos because they get to the root of grass and stuff, cabritos are more stubborn and fickle. Or so says the Cock expert... Perhaps this would help me get over the idea of selling the house...

In the meanwhile, Deirdre has been kicking to the music of the Sims… I think she likes the game… Who knew…

10-4

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